Mental Health Matters: It’s okay to not be okay
Why mental health matters and how we can bring about changes to make this world a better place
Most you should be aware by now that October 10th every year is observed as World Mental Health Day. Mental Health has been the hype off late, especially in India after a celebrity committed suicide and the drama around it. But mental health is important, perhaps equally as important as physical health, if not more. And we have to stop taking it lightly. Now, I am not a qualified mental health professional; all that I’m going say this point forth is based on my experience as well as primary & secondary research. Please take it with a pinch of salt and reach out to a mental health professional if you feel you need help.
Let me quickly recap the current situation around Mental Health in India for you: India is home to more than 1.3 billion human beings, with around 22% of them living below poverty line which roughly translates to consuming less than half a dollar a day. Add to that, the socio-economic disparity that exists throughout the country and our heavy reliance on religions and caste systems established millennia ago; you’d see and understand how mental health wouldn’t be a priority for most of this country. Just because you can understand the rationale; doesn’t mean it’s alright or mental health should be de-prioritised.
Now, we’re in the middle of a pandemic as well — which adds substantially to stress and anxiety of our regular lives due to the limited movement and extensive, albeit lacking, safety guidelines. Now more than ever, people are understanding what it means for your mental health deteriorate to a point where you find it difficult to get up and out of bed. Hence, Mental Health awareness is finally on the rise, people are taking it more seriously and key opinion leaders are pushing for changes to policies. There’s more spotlight than ever on improving the mental health in India; we are still far away from where it should be. The policy changes, whether they are at a firm / company level, at state level or at national level, will take time to formulate and implement and we can’t wait for the decade and a half it will take. This is the biggest complication we face right now.
The key question that I want to focus on: while most of country is working towards other objectives while keeping mental health issues in the back pocket, is there anything we can do at individual level, to help improve the mental health of people around us and increase awareness about it?
Short answer: yes. There are two main situations: one, you want to be considerate as well as raise awareness or two, you’re the one suffering.
In the first scenario, you can make accommodations in every interaction with another human being, starting with your family, friends, colleagues, and later extending it to random strangers as well. How do you do this, you ask? Two simple mantras I have found to be really helpful:
- Ask, don’t assume
- Respond, don’t react
Of course there can be many more methods to be more considerate, but those depend on your bonds with a particular person. Let me talk about why I feel these are one of the key mantras. Most people often either encapsulate some information or not completely clarify what the mean by using shorter than required sentences while talking. And that, leaves a lot of gaps and room for interpretation. Our mighty brain, works super-fast to consider our past experiences, knowledge & our impression of that person and prepares the response almost before the other person finishes their sentence. That is what makes it crucial to ask clarifying questions and taking a moment to respond to what the other person means, rather than assuming and reacting to what you feel the other person said. Making this minor change in how we interact takes a lot of effort and hard work, and the rewards are equally satisfying. You have better social bonds, and higher self-esteem.
Now let’s consider the second scenario.
If you’re suffering, be it, stress, anxiety, bipolar disorder or depression: before we begin, I’d like to say that I’m sorry for what you had to go through and that it does get better with time. Seek professional help if it gets too much.
When you’re suffering, everything seems impossible. Trusting someone. Loving anyone. Doing that 10–10 job. Making career progressions. Starting a new TV series. And sometimes, getting out of bed. More times than not, we find a memory or habit to cling to it as the sky clings to the earth; as only it can give us some semblance of being alive. Most of us pretend that everything is okay; we keep a straight face in the office, go to the occasional party or hangout so as to not seem like a loner, whereas we face our true selves every night when the sun goes down and our inner demons make an appearance.
Now, what can you do when you’re in such a situation? In 2 words: seek help. It’s alright. We’re not born geniuses. Just like every other skill you’re good at, being able to take care of your mental health is an acquired skill. With the advent of modern technology and the issue of mental health picking up in the western world, seeking help has become much easier than it was in the days gone by where you’d be called insane and sent to a loony bin if you ever brought up mental health disorders.
As someone who’s going through a lot, how do you seek help? The first step is acceptance, and that happens after you understand that this could happen to literally anyone, and you don’t need to suffer alone. Your support system will not break away if you tell them you’re suffering, and if they do, it’s good riddance. For those who can’t handle you at your lowest, don’t deserve you at your highest. Only once you accept you’re going through something and accept that it’s okay to not be okay, asking for help becomes much easier that what seemed to be an equivalent of climbing Mount Everest earlier.
The kind of help you need depends on the stage where you discover your problem and it’s severity. If you can’t get out of bed, are suffering from productive paranoia, actionable anxiety or something which renders you incapable to perform daily tasks and find happiness, it’s best to seek professional help. Mental health professionals would be able understand your problem and help you tackle the root cause of it, where as someone who’s only an enthusiast might be able to help you tackle one of the outcomes of your problem.
If you’re not overwhelmed, or don’t have crippling anxiety, that doesn’t mean you’re in perfect mental health. The events from daily life can keep building up stress and anxiety in our lives; which, more often than not, all of us end up ignoring. They ignore it to an extent where it keeps bottling up and then one day, all of a sudden, wham! You’re having a nice cup of tea and a panic attacks hit you. You discard the difficulty in breathing as an one off incident, and call the tears brimming in your eyes a result of difficulty breathing. We often fail to recognise what ails us and that’s where a support system plays a significant role.
Talk to your parents. Your siblings. Your partner. Your friends. Open up to them. If they say that all you do is complain, maybe they don’t get what you’re going through. Explain it to them. Twice. Thrice, if need be. And if the person still cannot sympathise with you, it’s time to find someone who will. If you don’t feel comfortable opening up to people close to you, fearing what they’ll feel about you once they see this side of yours, go talk to a professional. Fear of what one’s image will be once it’s put that they are not in perfect mental health is the main factor why so many people do not reach out. I repeat, it’s okay to not be okay. In the end, you’re the only one responsible and accountable for your mental health.
The reason why I went into how people suffer from various mental disorders is to help those wanting be considerate — how a simple smile, a warm hello or a confirmation asking “are you absolutely sure you’re okay” can make a difference for someone who’s suffering. All in all, if we try to be more compassionate as people and help the ones around us or if we’re suffering and reach out for help, we can make this world a much better place unless such policies are in place that make us do so.
If you have any comments, or any such experiences to share, please hit me up. Let’s work towards making this world a better place, one person at a time.
